5&5: All sorts of distortion

The Senate was in estimates and the Reps was debating the referendum bill.

Here’s the 5&5.  

BEST

  1. The Opposition still haven't learned

  2. Dutton's not Dutton when he's hungry

  3. Did Peter Dutton actually make me laugh?

  4. Andrew Giles's quick wit

  5. We got to perform with The Wiggles!

WORST

  1. Dutton's divisive and destructive debate

  2. Remember Scott Morrison?

  3. Perhaps the 73rd time will be a charm for Fletch?

  4. Make that the 74th time... 🤦‍♂️

  5. The Oppositions great migration dilemma

1. The Opposition should have two rules. One: never ask the PM about infrastructure. Two: never, never, never ask him about wages. Oh did this one backfire. The PM was straight up reminding them that the Government backed the increase to the minimum wage last year. And he grabbed his same lucky $1 coin he’d used during the election campaign. The Opposition were incensed, jumping up on a series of points of order. The PM responded perfectly. “They find the dollar coin offensive? You know what I find offensive? The fact that they thought a $1-an-hour increase for people on the minimum wage would wreck the economy. That's what I find offensive.”

2. Remember during the 2018 Liberal leadership spill Peter Dutton told us he was going to smile more? I’m not sure what happened to that pledge. Since becoming Opposition Leader he’s been angry. Very angry. During Question Time on Monday the PM suggested he cheer up. The member for McEwen, Rob Mitchell, went one better, suggesting the Opposition Leader needed a Snickers, like in those old ads - “You’re not you when you’re hungry?”. I reckon he’s going to need a lot more than just chocolate.

3. Credit where credit’s due – Peter Dutton did actually make me laugh this week. Speaking about the reception that the Indian PM Narendra Modi received at Qudos Bank Arena in Sydney, he said how impressive it was to see 20,000 people chanting the name of a politician. Jim Chalmers interjected “You don’t get that?” The Opposition Leader quickly shot back “Mainly at Labor party events, yes.” It was a moment of humanity - brief - but I’m glad it happened.

4. Andrew Giles didn’t miss in Question Time on Tuesday. Answering a question about the mess we’re cleaning up with the migration system, he asked what the previous government’s legacy was. “Nothing” came the cry from the backbench. Andrew Giles didn’t miss a beat. “Nothing is generous! It was worse than that.”

5. This one’s pretty special. On Wednesday night our parliamentary pub rock band ‘Left Right Out’ got to play with The Wiggles as part of the launch of Parliamentary Friends of Australian Children’s Storytelling. It’s been in the works for a while and was great fun! I reckon it was undoubtedly the best pub rock performance anyone has ever seen in The Great Hall at Parliament House on Wednesday the 24th of May, 2023.

1. We saw the best and worst of our Parliament all rolled into one debate on the referendum. Peter Dutton’s speech was divisive and destructive. Linda Burney spoke straight after the Opposition Leader. Here’s how she responded, “We have just heard, in one speech, every bit of disinformation and misinformation and every scare campaign that exists in this debate.” On Thursday morning the PM gave one of the best speeches I’ve heard in the Parliament. There was a spontaneous standing ovation.

2. Apparently Scott Morrison is still in Parliament. Remember him? He gave just his third speech since losing the election - arguing against The Voice. His reasoning? “It presents serious and unnecessary risks both known and unknown to the operations of the executive government and our parliament, upon which all Australians depend.” The man who secretly appointed himself to FIVE portfolios while he was Prime Minister is all of a sudden concerned about the operation of executive government and parliament. Really?!

3. Poor Fletch. He happened again. On Monday the Treasurer Jim Chalmers was answering a question from Angus Taylor. 20 seconds into the answer the shadow Treasurer jumped up on a point of order, citing relevance. Jim responded by asking what would Angus know about relevance. Fletch saw red! He jumped up – arguing that the Treasurer had used an offensive word and was being unparliamentary. Incredible! They’re now arguing a word they use about 27 times each Question Time is unparliamentary. In terms of a point of order, if the word 'relevance' is now going to be unparliamentary, there are not many words left.

4. To complete the daily double, they also asked the PM about infrastructure. Manager of Opposition Business Paul Fletcher decided to ask the PM about the Western Sydney airport. Yes – you read that right. Here’s how the PM responded. “I'm asked a question about infrastructure. I'm asked a question, as well, about infrastructure around Badgerys Creek airport, remarkably, from a minister who presided over the purchase of land that had been valued at $3 million for over $30 million.”

5. The Treasurer Jim Chalmers called out the Opposition’s hypocritical approach to migration during Thursday’s Question Time. Since the Budget they’ve been calling for more immigration, while arguing for less immigration. Jim described it as playing “two different tunes with the same dog whistle.”

Next week the Reps is back, and it's a further week of Senate estimates.

'til then,

Tony

PS. As a lesson to Peter Dutton who believes the answer is always “no”, this week’s song of the week is actually a newly released album from Alex Lahey called ‘The Answer Is Always Yes’.

Tony Burke